Chapter 17: The loss that is Forever

Khefner sits comfortably at the desk, her swollen belly gently resting against the edge as she adjusts the camera for her video blog. The soft light from her ring light illuminates her glowing face, capturing every detail of her joy and anticipation. She takes a deep breath and hits the record button.

"Hey, everyone!" Khefner greets warmly, her voice filled with the usual enthusiasm that her fans has come to love. "It's your girl Khef, and today, I've got a very special update for you all. I know I've been off the stage for a while, but as you all know, I'm on a different kind of journey right now—the journey to motherhood!"

She places a gentle hand on her belly and smiles for the camera. "I'm officially in my eighth month, and let me tell you, it's been quite the ride! Baby Kohaku—or Tarlya, if it's a girl—will be here soon, and I just wanted to share this incredible experience with you. I know a lot of you have been asking about how I'm doing, and I want to keep you all in the loop."

Khefner goes on to talk about the ups and downs of pregnancy, sharing personal anecdotes about her cravings, the funny moments with Ryu, and even some of the challenges she faces. She ends the video with a promise to keep everyone updated on the final stretch of her pregnancy and a heartfelt thanks for all the support her fans have given her.

After she finishes recording, Khefner leans back and sighs contentedly. Just as she is about to start editing the video, Magali, who has been quietly observing from the couch, speaks up.

"Khef, I've been meaning to ask," Magali says, her voice curious. "Why are you sharing so much about your pregnancy with your fans? I mean, I get that it's a huge part of your life right now, but doesn't it feel a bit... personal?"

Khefner looks over at Magali and smiles. "It is personal, Magali, but it's also part of who I am. My fans have been with me through so much—my performances, my growth as an idol, and even my marriage to Ryu. They've seen me at my highest and lowest. And now, this is just another chapter of my life that I want to share with them."

She pauses, her expression growing a bit more serious. "Plus, I'm not performing right now, so I need to keep my fanbase engaged. I can't afford to let them forget about me, especially with the baby on the way. This is my way of staying connected with them until I can get back on stage."

Magali nods, understanding Khefner's reasoning. "I see. I never really thought about it that way. It's like you're giving them a peek behind the curtain, showing them that you're more than just an idol."

"Exactly," Khefner says with a grin. "And besides, it helps remind them that I'm still here, even if I'm not performing for a bit. Once the baby's born and I'm ready to return to the stage, I want them to be just as excited for me as they were before. Maybe even more."

Magali smiles, admiring Khefner's dedication. "Well, you're definitely doing a great job of that. Your fans are lucky to have someone who cares so much about them."

Khefner chuckles and gives Magali a playful wink. "And I'm lucky to have a friend who reminds me to stay grounded. Thank you."

The two women share a warm moment of understanding, their bond growing stronger as they support each other through the different stages of their lives.

As Khefner and Magali chat inside, the guys find themselves outside in the cool afternoon air, taking a break from the bustle inside the crew hall. Ryu leans against the railing of the balcony, a serene smile on his face as he watches the clouds drift lazily across the sky. Conrad stands next to him, his hands in his pockets, his usual cool demeanor softened by the relaxed atmosphere.

"How are you holding up?" Conrad asks, glancing over at Ryu. "I know Khefner's been… keeping you on your toes."

Ryu chuckles, rubbing the back of his neck. "That's an understatement. She's been a whirlwind of emotions, man. One minute, she's craving the most obscure food combinations—like peanut butter and pickles—and the next, she's in tears because we ran out of her favorite ice cream. And don't get me started on the mood swings."

Conrad raises an eyebrow. "Mood swings, huh? That bad?"

Ryu nods, his expression a mix of amusement and exhaustion. "Oh yeah. One moment she's laughing, and the next, she's crying about something completely random. I've had to become an expert at reading her moods, and I've learned to keep a stash of snacks within arm's reach at all times. And don't even mention foot rubs—those are non-negotiable."

Conrad can't help but smirk. "Foot rubs? Never pegged you as the type to give foot massages."

Ryu laughed. "Hey, when your wife's carrying your child and she's been on her feet all day, you do what you gotta do. Besides, it's a small price to pay. Khefner's been handling the pregnancy like a champ, but I can tell it's taking a toll on her. The least I can do is make her feel comfortable."

Despite the challenges he described, there was a glint of excitement in Ryu's eyes. He had a contented look that Conrad hadn't seen in a long time.

"And yet," Conrad began, "you still look forward to all of it—the cravings, the foot rubs, the sleepless nights?"

Ryu turns to face Conrad fully, his smile growing wider. "Absolutely. I've always dreamed of being a dad, you know? And sure, it's tough sometimes, but when I think about holding my child in my arms for the first time, all of that stuff seems like nothing. I'd go through a million cravings and mood swings just to see that moment."

Conrad nods thoughtfully. "You've really found something worth fighting for, haven't you?"

Ryu's expression softens. "Yeah, I guess I have. Becoming a father… it changes your perspective on everything. It's not just about me anymore. I've got a family to take care of now, and that means the world to me. I wouldn't trade it for anything."

There's a moment of comfortable silence between them, the kind that only close friends can share. Conrad respects Ryu's commitment to his family and admires the way he navigates the challenges with humor and love.

"You know," Conrad says after a while, "seeing you like this makes me think that maybe, someday, I could handle something like that too. Not right now, of course. But… someday."

As the sun casts a warm golden hue over the porch, the easy conversation between Conrad and Ryu takes a more introspective turn. With the girls still inside, chatting and laughing, Ryu leans in slightly closer to Conrad, lowering his voice to a conspiratorial whisper.

"Hey, Conrad," Ryu begins, glancing back towards the door to make sure no one is listening. "Can I ask you something?"

Conrad raises an eyebrow, intrigued by Ryu's sudden shift in tone. "Sure. What's on your mind?"

Ryu hesitates for a moment, choosing his words carefully. "It's about you and Magali. I've noticed that you two have gotten pretty close. I mean, I've seen the way you look out for her. Do you... you know... have feelings for her?"

Conrad chuckles softly, shaking his head in mild amusement. "Ah, so that's what this is about. You're not the first person to ask me that."

Ryu smirks. "Well, can you blame me? You guys are always together, and I've seen the way you two click. So, what's the deal?"

Conrad leans back against the railing, his eyes drifting to the horizon as he thinks about his answer. "I won't lie—I do like her. Mags is an incredible person. She's talented, driven, and she's always been there for me. But... it's complicated."

"Complicated how?" Ryu asks, genuinely curious.

"Well," Conrad begins, his voice thoughtful, "we're close—really close. She's one of my best friends, and I value that more than anything. The thing is, I don't want to risk messing that up by crossing a line. What we have now... it works. I'm not willing to jeopardize our friendship by bringing romance into it."

Ryu nods, understanding the delicate balance Conrad is trying to maintain. "I get that. But don't you ever wonder what might happen if you did tell her? I mean, what if she feels the same way?"

Conrad sighs, running a hand through his hair. "Of course I wonder. But I've made peace with it. We've got a good thing going, and I'd rather keep things the way they are than risk losing her altogether. Besides, she deserves to find someone who can give her their whole heart, without any reservations. And I'm not sure I'm that guy."

Ryu smiles knowingly. "You're more of a romantic than you let on, you know that?"

Conrad laughs softly. "Maybe. Or maybe I'm just cautious. Either way, I'm content with how things are. Mags is important to me, and that's all that matters."

Ryu claps him on the shoulder, his expression one of respect. "Fair enough, man. You know what's best for you. Just know that if you ever decide to change your mind, you've got people who've got your back."

Conrad smiles, appreciating Ryu's support. "Thanks, Ryu. I'll keep that in mind."

The two men share a quiet moment of camaraderie, the bond between them strengthened by the honest conversation. Even as they navigate their own personal paths, they know they can rely on each other for advice and encouragement.

As the warm afternoon breeze brushes against their faces, the door to the balcony slides open, and Magali steps out to join the conversation. She catches the tail end of Conrad and Ryu's discussion, and with a curious smile, she asks, "What are you guys talking about?"

Conrad's face flushes slightly, and he quickly averts his eyes. "Oh, uh, we were just talking about Khefner and the baby," he answers, trying to play it off casually.

Ryu chuckles at Conrad's awkwardness, then turns his attention to Magali. "Speaking of which, where is Khefner? She was just with you a minute ago."

Magali glances back toward the crew and replies, "She's in the bathroom. She said she needed a moment."

Before anyone can respond, a sharp cry echoes from inside the crew, cutting through the calm evening air like a knife. It's Khefner's voice, filled with pain and panic.

Without a second thought, all three of them bolt from the balcony and rush toward the bathroom. When they reach the door, they find Khefner leaning against the sink, her face twisted in agony, her hands gripping her swollen belly.

Ryu's heart races as he kneels beside her, his voice trembling with worry. "Khefner, are you in labor? Is it time?"

Khefner shakes her head frantically, her breath coming in short gasps. "No... no, it's not labor... something's wrong. This... this isn't right." She then moves her hand away from her belly and they all see that she is bleeding.

"Conrad! Call the ambulance!" Shouts Ryu. Conrad pulls out his phone and quickly dials for an ambulance, his voice in panic as he relays the situation to the operator.

Magali kneels beside Khefner, gently holding her hand. Khefner squeezes Magali's hand, her eyes wide with fear. "It hurts... it hurts so much."

Conrad finishes the call. "The ambulance is on its way. They said they'll be here as soon as possible."

Time seems to stretch on endlessly as they wait, every second filled with an overwhelming sense of dread. Khefner's pain intensifies, and despite their best efforts to comfort her, they can do little more than be there for her, offering words of encouragement.

Finally, the sound of sirens fills the air, and moments later, paramedics rush into the hall. They quickly assess Khefner's condition and prepare her for transport, carefully loading her onto a stretcher.

Ryu, his face pale and eyes filled with worry, holds Khefner's hand as they wheel her out of the apartment. "We're coming with you," says Magali and Conrad, their voices leaving no room for argument.

Magali and Conrad watch helplessly as the ambulance doors close behind them, their hearts heavy with fear for their friend. As the sirens wail into the distance, Khefner passes out.

In the hospital, Khefner is wheeled directly into the emergency room. They quickly learn that she is suffering from complications from the pregnancy and is taken straight to surgery.

At the hospital, the sterile smell of antiseptic hangs in the air as Ryu, Magali, and Conrad sit in the waiting area, anxiety etched into their faces. The soft hum of the overhead lights and the distant beeping of monitors do little to calm their nerves. Minutes drag on like hours, each one filled with silent prayers and whispered hopes. Ryu paces back and forth, his hands wringing together as he glances at the clock for what must be the hundredth time.

Magali sits next to Conrad, who's trying to maintain a calm exterior, though his clenched fists and tight jaw betray his own fears. Magali occasionally reaches out to squeeze his hand, both of them trying to find comfort in the shared tension.

Finally, after what feels like an eternity, the door to the hallway swings open, and a doctor steps into the waiting area. His presence immediately draws the trio's attention, their hearts pounding in unison as they rise to their feet.

Ryu rushes forward, his voice laced with urgency. "Doctor, how is she? Is Khefner okay? Is the baby okay?"

The doctor takes off his glasses and wipes them clean, his expression concerning. "You must be Khefner's husband. My name is Doctor James Sohma. Your baby has been delivered safely."

Ryu's eyes widen, a mix of relief and disbelief washing over him. "The baby... is it... is it a boy or a girl?"

"Your child is a beautiful baby girl," said the doctor.

For a moment, Ryu is speechless. The words hang in the air, almost too good to be true. His hands tremble as he runs them through his hair, his eyes misting over. "A girl... I have a daughter?"

Magali and Conrad exchange relieved glances, the tension finally melting away as they take in the news. Magali reaches out and gently squeezes Ryu's arm. "Congratulations, Ryu. You're a dad."

Ryu turns to face them, his expression a mixture of awe and overwhelming joy. He chuckles, wiping away a tear. "I... I have a daughter," he repeats, as if saying it again would make it more real. "I can't believe it."

Ryu then turns to the doctor and asks, "Can I see my wife? She must be asking for me right now."

The doctor remains silent. His expression somber. Ryu's eyes tremble as he asks, "What happened to Khefner?"

The doctor shakes his head and says, "She lost a lot of blood on the way to the hospital. We were able to save the baby, but not your wife. I'm sorry."

Ryu collapses to the floor as the doctor's words hit him like a freight train. His sobs fill the sterile waiting room, echoing off the white walls, each cry laced with the raw pain of unimaginable loss. Magali and Conrad stand nearby, stunned into silence by the tragic news. Their own hearts ache for their friend, but they can do nothing but watch as Ryu's world crumbles before their eyes. Conrad clenches his fists, his knuckles white as he fights back tears, while Magali struggles to hold herself together.

The doctor, his expression somber yet compassionate, approaches Magali and gently asks, "You're Magali Arisan. May we speak in private?"

Still numb from the news, Magali nods and follows the doctor down a quiet hallway to his office. The door closes behind them, muffling the sounds of Ryu's grief as they step into the dimly lit room. The doctor gestures for Magali to sit, and she lowers herself into a chair, her mind swirling with a mix of emotions—grief, confusion, dread.

"Miss Artisan," the doctor begins, his tone measured and careful. "I wanted to speak with you about Khefner's passing. During surgery, we discovered extensive scarring in her abdomen. It was poorly treated, and unfortunately, the pregnancy caused her muscle tissue to tear, leading to severe bleeding. We did everything we could, but..."

He pauses, allowing the weight of his words to sink in. Magali sits quietly, her eyes brimming with tears as she tries to process what he's saying. The doctor's words are clinical, but the underlying tragedy is palpable. Khefner, her friend, her crewmate—gone. And all because of an injury that was never properly treated.

Magali blinks back the tears and asks, her voice shaky, "Why are you telling me this and not Ryu? Why not her husband?"

The doctor sighs, leaning back in his chair, his face etched with empathy and a deep sense of understanding. "I've seen this kind of scarring before. It's common among idols who avoid seeking medical treatment for fear of losing their careers, especially in young women. The pressures of the industry force many to push through injuries, hoping they can heal on their own. But sometimes... the consequences catch up with them."

Magali lowers her gaze, the doctor's words resonating with her own experiences. The image of Khefner, strong and determined, hiding her pain to continue working, flashes through her mind. She can feel the weight of the doctor's message bearing down on her—a cautionary tale too close to home.

There's a heavy silence between them as Magali processes what the doctor is trying to tell her. She feels a pang of guilt twisting in her chest, memories of her own injury creeping to the forefront of her mind. Finally, she speaks, her voice barely above a whisper, "I twisted my ankle a few months ago. It wasn't serious, so I didn't see a doctor. I... I thought I'd be fine."

The doctor nods, his expression softening. He reaches for a notepad, scribbling something on it before tearing off the sheet and handing it to Magali. "I want you to come back and have your ankle checked, just to be sure. Depending on what we find, you may not need to go on disability. But it's important to prioritize your health, Miss Magali. We don't want to see another tragedy."

Magali takes the note, her fingers trembling as she holds the slip of paper. She looks up at the doctor, her mind heavy with thoughts of Khefner, of Ryu, of the baby girl who will grow up without her mother. She nods slowly, a silent promise to herself that she won't let fear or pride stand in the way of her well-being again.

The doctor offers her a sympathetic smile, a brief but meaningful gesture of comfort. "Take care of yourself, Miss Magali. And if you need to talk, I'm here."

Magali thanks the doctor and rises from the chair, her legs feeling unsteady beneath her. As she walks back to the waiting room, the weight of the day bears down on her shoulders. But she knows that despite the pain, despite the loss, she must carry on—for Khefner, for Ryu, and for herself.

Magali walks down the sterile hallway, her mind heavy with the weight of what the doctor has told her. Each step feels like it takes an eternity, her feet dragging as if held down by invisible chains. As she nears the waiting room where Ryu and Conrad should be, a hauntingly familiar sound pierces through her thoughts—a flute, playing a melody so mournful it seems to seep into her very bones.

She recognizes the tune immediately. It's Conrad's flute, playing a sad, almost ethereal tune in honor of Khefner. The notes drift through the hospital, wrapping around her like a cold breeze, each one tugging at the raw edges of her emotions.

Drawn by the music, Magali follows the sound until she reaches a small, dimly lit room. Inside, Ryu sits slumped in a chair beside a bed, his shoulders shaking as silent sobs wrack his body. His eyes are fixed on the blanket-covered form on the bed—Khefner. The love of his life, now gone.

Conrad stands near the foot of the bed, his flute pressed to his lips, his eyes closed as he pours his grief into the melody. The sorrow in the room is palpable, thick enough to choke on, and the weight of it crushes Magali's chest.

She tries to step forward, to join them in mourning, but the overwhelming pain of the scene before her is too much to bear. Her legs buckle, and she falls to her knees just outside the doorway. Tears spill from her eyes, blurring her vision as the reality of the situation crashes down on her.

In her mind, the image of Ryu mourning Khefner is suddenly replaced by another—her father and sister, their faces etched with grief, standing over her mother's grave. The memories she had long buried rise to the surface, sharp and unforgiving. The loss of her mother, the void that nothing could fill, and the knowledge that baby Tarlya will face the same emptiness.

The baby girl will never see her mother's face, never hear her voice. She will grow up with only photos, stories from her father, and perhaps the echoes of a melody played in her mother's memory. The thought is too much, and Magali's sobs grow louder, mixing with the sorrowful tune that Conrad plays.

In that moment, the world feels unbearably cruel. A cycle of loss and grief that seems impossible to break. But even through the pain, a small flicker of determination ignites within her. She will be there for Tarlya, for Ryu, for her Sweet Dance family. She will make sure that the little girl knows just how much her mother loved her, how much Khefner meant to all of them.

But for now, all Magali can do is weep for the friend she lost, for the family torn apart, and for the child who will never know her mother's embrace. And as Conrad's flute continues to play that heartbreaking melody, she lets herself grieve, surrounded by the echoes of loss and love.