Part 3: The Loss That is Forever

Fall 30, 2000

Today was my last day at working at Vesta’s farm. All the crops has wilted, and Winter will officially start tomorrow. No crops grow over the Winter, so Vesta won’t need any help until Spring. She did offer me a full time job at her farm, but I respectfully declined. I did learn a whole lot from working there, I am now confident I can stand on my own in my farm starting Spring this coming year.

Celia was sad to see me go. We are neighbors after all, so I promised I’d visit every now and then. I really wish she can move on and find someone else to start a relationship with. I can only hope that over time, she can see me as only a friend.

Winter 5, 2000

Things are so calm and peaceful here in the valley during Winter. Vesta’s family are now hibernating for the Winter, and the Blue Bar is now busy with the many bored residents of Forget-Me-Not Valley. Meanwhile, I am busy importing animals into my farm from Mineral Town. I’ve spent a good chunk of money I’ve earned from Vesta’s farm to buy cows, sheep, and chickens. I am so glad dad built these barns and coop to last. I do wish he was around right now, I could really use his talents to maintain this farm. Luckily I could just ask the carpenter from Mineral Town to help me if I need it.

Spring 7, 2001

Winter is over, my seeds are planted, and the Blue Bar is quieter. I decided to spend the afternoon at the Blue Bar to relax after a hard day at my farm. It was my lucky day, Muffy was off and I could just sip my drink without her constantly flirting with me. I happily took my usual seat at the bar and ordered my favorite drink; the winter blast!

As I waited for Griffin to make my drink, I noticed someone sitting to my right. A young woman I have never seen before. She definitely stands out from the other girls with her short red hair and icy blue eyes. She definitely dresses differently than Celia or Muffy with her orange tank top, blue plaid sleeveless button up shirt, white shorts, and blue chucks with white tips. She definitely had my full attention as I was curious about her story.

“Hey,” I greeted. She looked at me for only a moment before looking away. Definitely not the friendly or social type. I was even more curious, so I moved my stool closer. “You’re not from around here, are you?” She shook her head no, but remained quiet.

Griffin then slid my drink across the table. I catch it and started to sip my minty drink. After a few sips, I just continued to say, “you know, I’m not from around here either.” That definitely got her attention. She just looked my way and waited for me to finish my drink. She asked me what brought me here to Forget-Me-Not Valley. I didn’t answer, all I said was, “family reasons”.

Even though I never said anything about dad or what happened at the farm, we had a pretty nice chat. She started to open up a bit after a few drinks. I learned that she is a traveler who visited many towns. She definitely avoided talking about her past or why she is traveling. I didn’t mind as long as she didn’t ask about mine. Learning about the many places she visited was far more interesting anyway. After a few hours, she left. She did turn around and tell me that her name is Nami. I must admit that even her name is far more interesting than the other girls. I sure hope that we can be good friends.

Spring 11, 2001

Today I decided to do a bit of fishing. Even though I admit that I am pretty bad at it, it was just something to do to pass the time. Forget-Me-Not Valley isn’t known for being an entertaining place after all. Everyone else who lives here goes to work, then take a leisurely walk around the village to appreciate nature. I hear that Griffin or Gustafa play their guitars under a tree every now and then. Everyone else just takes a trip to Mineral Town to change things up a bit. Other than that, fishing is the only thing I can think of doing.

I decided to go to the beach to fish. If there is one thing I can say good about the valley is that the beach is cool. The ocean is crystal clear and very clean. The fireworks they shoot off during the Fireworks Festival is definitely something to look forward to. Kassey and Patrick do very good work on those fireworks, though they are a bit weird.

I ran into Nami on the way to the beach. She was walking around aimlessly looking so bored with nothing to do. I figured that it would be a good idea to ask her to come fishing with me. At first she turned down my offer, saying that she doesn’t like to eat fish. I keep nudging at her saying that she doesn’t have to eat it, I just really want the company. She finally agreed seeing that she has nothing else to do.

And so that afternoon we did some fishing. Or at least that’s what I called it. Let me remind myself that I really suck at it. I did my best while Nami was sitting on the sand slowly getting more annoyed that I keep reeling in seaweed and trash. I really thought I caught a whopper, but it was just my line getting caught in some rocks and my line snapped when I tried to reel it in. Not exactly my most proud moment I must admit.

Nami eventually lost her patience and took the rod from me. She baited her line and cast it off into the ocean. I was pretty impressed, it was like she knew what she was doing. I asked if she was good at fishing, but she told me no this was her first time. She did watch other fishermen during her travels, so she just copied what they did. I tried to compliment how natural she looks holding that rod, but she just said, “nope, you just suck at this.” Even with that harsh tone, her smirk told me that she was just kidding.

Sooner than later, she gets a bite on the line. You can tell that the fish was pretty strong by how it almost pulled her into the water. As Nami struggled, she asked me for help. I didn’t know what else to do, so I rushed behind her and wrapped my arms around her waist. She gasped, which told me that was not what she meant by “help”. Maybe she wanted me to grab the pole and reel it in myself? She didn’t tell me to let her go, so I just held her steady as she reeled that sucker in. I couldn’t see her face, but I could tell that she was blushing the whole time I held her.

After some time fighting with that fish, she yanked it out of the water and into the sand. That sucker was not as big as we imagined it, but it was fair enough. We took a picture to celebrate our first catch, but we decided to release it back into the water. After the fish vanished into the ocean, Nami just turned around and walked away. At first, I thought she was mad at me. But just before she left the beach, she turned around to say, “fishing is not really my thing, next time ask someone else to go with you. But if you want to hang out and do something else, let me know.”

She then turns around and walks back to the inn. I really don’t get her sometimes. She is not as cheerful or happy as Muffy, or as kind and gentle as Celia. But she has that “cool” vibe to her. She is chill but stern at the same exact time. I just wish she was a bit easier to talk to.

Summer 3, 2001

I ran into Muffy just outside my farm. She was talking to me about just regular nonsense like “how is the farm?” or “you want to go on a date?” As we talked, Nami came out of the inn and noticed us. I was too busy trying to tell Muffy that I was too busy to talk to notice Nami watching us. After some time, Muffy blew a kiss at me, then walked herself back to the Blue Bar. At that moment, I noticed Nami giving me an uncomfortable stare.

She did approach me to do some small talk, like “how’s the farm”, and other random stuff. She then looks to the Blue Bar for a second before asking, “so, she your type?” She didn’t sound upset, more like a curious tone in her voice. I thought for a second before explaining that I didn’t really have a type when it comes to women. I thought that would change the subject, but all that did was encourage her to ask more questions.

She kept prodding me for information about my past relationships. Her eyes opened in shock when I told her that I’ve never had a girlfriend before. She then crossed her arms and casually asked if I was a virgin. I was pretty embarrassed to admit that I was. I had no idea where all these questions came from, or why she felt the need to know. For a moment, I figured that maybe someone else convinced her to ask in their place. After all, it was not like her to get so personal.

After bombarding me with questions, she just turns around and leaves. She just waves bye like if she didn’t spend the last hour talking about my lack of love life. Was she making fun of me this whole time? All I could do is scratch my head in confusion trying to figure out what just happened.

Summer 14, 2001

I walked out of my house early this morning ready and willing to do my daily chores. But as soon as I opened my door, I saw Nami in my farm just casually walking around. She was looking over my pasture when I approached her to ask if she needed anything. She said no, and just go to work pretending that she wasn’t there. I did think it was weird, but this is Nami after all. I didn’t want to argue with her, so I just got to work and moved my animals into the pasture.

I thought she would leave, but she toured the farm instead. Each time I would look in her direction, she would tell me to keep working. So I kept working, trying to pretend that she wasn’t sitting on my fence watching me. I guess she does this, traveling from place to place watching people live their lives. I have no idea why she does it, but who am I to judge?

After I completed by daily chores, I met up with her at the entrance to my farm. She commented that I am not such a bad guy after all. She smiled for only a second before turning around to walk out of my farm. I had no idea what just happened today, but who am I to complain if it makes her happy. Her smile was pretty cute though.

Fall 1, 2001

After a hard day at work, I decided to go to the Blue Bar and have a drink. The days are getting colder, and I need some liquor to stay warm. At least that was the plan until I ran into Nami on the way there. She didn’t look like herself when she walked out of the inn. I asked her what’s wrong, she didn’t say much. She only asked if we could meet up at the beach later. I nodded, curious to know what’s on her mind.

About an hour later, I met Nami at the beach. We sat together on the sand quietly at first. After a few minutes, she started to talk about her experiences in the valley. All the people she met, all the sights and sounds, and how nice and peaceful it is. He then started to talk about Ruby and Tim, they seem to like Nami a lot and hope that she can settle down in Forget-Me-Not Valley. They even offered her to stay at the inn at a reduced rate until she can get a job or a permanent place to live. At first, I didn’t understand why she was telling me all this so suddenly.

Everything started to make sense once she admitted that she will be leaving the valley by the end of Fall. She is running out of money, and she will need to return to her parents soon. She then looked up to the sky and admitted that she loves it here in the valley. She doesn’t want to return home, she wants to live here forever. I was confused, she was traveling from town to town all this time. What made this village so special that she wants to settle here of all places. When I asked her about it, she said that she waned to stay because I live here.

Nami quickly got personal all of the sudden. She admitted that ever since she was a kid, everyone expected her to be more feminine and wear a dress. She always hated that idea, she wanted to be her own person. So as an adult, she packed her stuff and traveled the country to look for a place who will accept her for who she is. Over the years, she was never happy about any other place she has visited. So many people said that she would look so much prettier if she was a bit more girly. They said that if she changed, she could get a husband and a house to keep.

That is not what Nami wants. She wants to live freely and be accepted for who she is. She is interested in marriage and a family of her own, but only if her husband will respect and love her for who she is. Someone who can understand her, without asking her to change. She doesn’t want to be pretty and cheerful like Muffy. She doesn’t want to be cute and kind like Celia. She wants to be Nami, nobody else.

She then started to talk about me. We may not know each other for that long, but she can tell that I am different. Unlike any other guy who tells her to act or dress prettier, I am the only one who tries to get to know the real Nami. She appreciates the fact that I treat her like any other girl in the valley. She is so comfortable around me, that she could imagine us living together in the valley peacefully.

As she kept going on about how she imagines her life in Forget-Me-Not Valley, I looked out to the ocean towards the blue sky. Living freely to avoid judgment? Things like that makes me think of my dad. After all, he did come here to this valley for the same exact reason. Back at home, people judged him for not providing for his family. He did his best to find work, but carpentry was all he was ever good at.

Mom got depressed after leaving Atland. Mom never told him how she felt, she just kept her emotions in until it was just eating her alive. I can clearly remember her in the hospital on her death bed clinging to her last moments of life. She held my cheeks with those sad puffy eyes saying, “please don’t cry my son. You’re a boy, and boys shouldn’t cry. Promise me that you will be strong for your mother. I will always be watching you from the heavenly blue skies.”

I held her hand as she slowly closed her eyes while the last bit of light faded away. I cried, even though she told me not to, I couldn’t stop. My innocence ended that very day, she was gone, and she will never come back.

It was raining hard the day they buried her. The rain dripped from the strands of my hair like teardrops. My eyes were red and puffy after crying for days. I no longer had it in me to cry anymore, it felt like I was out of tears to shed.

I continued to stare at her grave once everyone else has left. The only other person who was still there was my dad who finally came back home to watch them lower his ex-wife’s casket into the ground. To be honest, I didn’t even know he was at the funeral until he approached me once we were alone. He tried to put his hand on my shoulder to comfort me, but I slapped it away.

He stood back as I started to scream at him. I said some of the worst things because I was so angry that he left us behind. I called him a coward for leaving. I said that he was not a man for leaving mom to die. I kept saying horrible things to him because I had no one else to blame. He never argued back, he just stood there and took everything. But I finally broke him when I shut me eyes as I yelled, “this is all your fault!”

I know now that it wasn’t. But I was only thirteen at the time, and I needed someone to blame. I realize now that I had the same problem mom had that ended their marriage. When things go wrong, we don’t think and we just take it out on the people we love. If dad was alive right now, I would tell him how sorry I am. How was I supposed to know that those were the last words he would ever hear from me?

As I snap back to reality, I realized that Nami was still sitting next to me. I wiped a tear from my eye, then asked if maybe she would consider a job at my farm. She shook her head no saying that it would feel awkward for us to work together. Not sure what she meant by that, so I just left it alone.

She then got up and started to walk back to the inn. She did wave bye, but said nothing else. If this was anyone else, I would have got worried that maybe I upset her in some way. But this is Nami I am talking about, I’m sure she’s fine. She always just walk away full of confidence looking so calm and cool.

Fall 30, 2001

Nami is leaving Forget-Me-Not Valley today, so she came to my farm to say goodbye. I am going to miss her, she is cool and it was nice having a friend in the village who isn’t trying to date me. I really wish there was a way she can stay and live here in the valley. I did offer her a job one last time, but she turned it down again. And with that, she tossed her bag over her shoulder and walked out of my farm. I sure hope she writes every now, so I’ll know she’s fine out there.

Winter 10, 2001

I am starting to like Winters here in Forget-Me-Not Valley. Things are quiet, and I have a lot of free time since crops don’t grow under that blanket of snow. I can sit near the fireplace and watch TV all day after I take care of the animals. This is one of the best things about living here, I wonder if dad felt the same way?

As I was relaxing the afternoon away, I heard someone knock on my door. At first I thought it was Muffy, since she’s usually the only one who is willing to walk through the snow to visit. I was in for a surprise when I found Nami standing outside my house shivering from the cold. She also surprised me with her change in clothes. She had on a white sleeveless jacket with a green tank top, which is odd to be wearing in Winter. She also wore brown carpenter pants and brown leather work boots. Even though it was weird, that’s Nami in a nutshell for you. Following the beat of her own drum.

I quickly let her in my house so she can warm up and I can ask what happened. I gave her a blanket and some coffee as she sat by the fireplace. She didn’t say anything at first, just doing her usual cold stare at nothing. I pulled up a chair and asked her what’s going on. She smiled and chuckled as the snow melted off her red hair, leaving behind a cute wavy messy hairstyle.

She admitted that she really wanted to live here in the valley so much that she was able to get a part time job in a nearby town. She doesn’t work much, and the pay is low. But even so, it is enough to pay Ruby’s rent so she can live here in Forget-Me-Not Valley permanently. She’ll only need to leave a few times a month to work. I was happy to hear that she is going to live here in the valley with the rest of us. She will definitely add a lot of personality to this village, I’m glad she found a way to stay.

There is another reason she decided to stay. She admitted that she was in love with me. She was hoping that maybe we could be a couple, but she also knows that I am not ready to be in a relationship just yet. Looks like she’s been paying attention to what’s been going on in the valley. The fact that both Muffy and Celia confessed before her. I didn’t know what to say, she caught me off guard.

Even though Nami thinks that I am not ready for a relationship, she says that she will stay in the village until I am. She feels that I will someday change my mind, and it will be here to steal my heart. She then looked at me hard with those blue eyes of hers, then just walked out of my house saying nothing else. Not even a goodbye.

I was definitely shocked at what just happened today. Nami is now here to stay, ready to try to seek my affection. I was left there in my house, stunned and confused. I guess things will only get more interesting and complicated from now on.